I am officially unemployed. My leave of absence for maternity ended yesterday, and as of today I will be leaving my position as assistant director. We just cannot find child care that we can afford, so won't be able to merit going back to work. I would actually have to pay BH about $50 a month in child care in order to return to my old job. Anybody who PAYS an employer to allow them to come to work every day and be a stellar employee is insane. There is a small chance that I may be able to return to BH, and that is if the director interview pans out and I'll be given a chance to interview in the 2nd round in front of the panel of teachers & parents. Having worked there for 9 years, I certainly have established quality relationships with almost all of the families, and all of the faculty members. A panel interview would be highly in my advantage, if they will just give me that opportunity. I'm sure they will, I just have to be patient.
As for now though, it feels really depressing to have to announce that I won't be returning to my coveted position after all this time. I can tell you that I feel sad and even a bit lonely, because my job, for the entirety of my life in Seattle, has been my lifeblood. I saw those co-workers everyday for more hours than I saw Dave. Spent more time training, laughing, and teaching with those people, than I spent with my own college roommates. In fact, I have known those co-workers much longer than I ever lived with any roommates besides Dave. It's strange to feel like they won't be a part of my daily "family life" anymore. A big part of me is relieved that I won't have to deal with the drama that comes with working with 30 other women, but an even bigger part of me is just plain sad.
I have to look at this little person sitting next to me right now, who is watching Elmo attentively (bad mommy!), and trying to climb into my lap while I'm typing and your eyes are still glued to the TV screen. My sadness about my career immediately melts away a bit as your warm polar fleece pajama feet are wiggling about next to me. We don't have cable, and you've never actually been exposed to real TV, but we do own a few Elmo videos, which you are totally infatuated with. Harper, I think one of your first real words was actually "Elmo". Zoie is taking an early nap this morning because she got up really early (around 7:30), so I thought I would take this break sponsored by Elmo, to get a little extra blogging time in.
This weekend was the first time you tried out the double pig tails Harper. It was just too cute, your daddy and I left them in all afternoon, and snapped as many pictures as we could. Both of us said that they actually made you look like a little girl (your hair is still so short, we've never cut it), you're nearing two, and people still think you're a little boy all the time because of your short hair. It's ridiculous! Pink sparkly shoes and purple jacket, and people still think that you're a little boy. Those pigtails should help you out though.
Harper, you've been so independent these last few weeks. You say "Harpy do eet" all the time, (Harper do it), telling us that you would rather do something yourself then have us help you. Today at lunch you were so flustered because you had a string of cheese on your plate and you wanted it in the trash can, not anywhere near your plate. You yelled "Harpy do eet!" at me about ten times, while I was nursing, (I kept telling you to wait a minute until I could help you get out of the high chair), until I finally just unlatched Zoie and came to get the pesky string from you. So persistent you little Taurus! I'm glad to know that you are wanting to do things on your own though, and sadly, this is the beginning of you wanting no help from me. I'm not ready for you to grow up this fast!
Zoie, when I was giving you a bath last night you squealed over and over again when I dribbled water over your feet. Kicking and splashing, you are quite the water lover. Harper definitely didn't like the bath as much as you do (until she got older and could play in the water more). You coo and babble to me all the time these days, but you're super vocal when you're in the bath. I just put your little baby bathtub in the kitchen sink and bathe you there, it's so much easier to stand up rather than lean over the tub to reach your squirmy little body. I use the sprayer attachment on the nozzle to rinse you off, which you absolutely love. It's pretty neat to watch your face light up when you hear the water turn on. I have no doubt that you won't be a little "fish" as you get older. Perhaps you'll even be a swimmer like your daddy was. I'm sure that he's dying to get both of you in a pool to teach you how to swim. I keep suggesting that Harper would love swimming lessons, and he always tells me that he can teach you girls how to swim this summer when we can use the pool in our complex. We'll just have to see if we stay in WA long enough to enjoy that pool in a few months. I am ready to move home to CA, but that's a whole different blog.
Alright well, I don't think I had a full five things today - but Zoie, you are not napping very soundly today, so I need to go spend some quality time bouncing you back to sleep. It's only Monday, we have the whole week ahead of us.
Smile girls, your mama loves you.