Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Big changes on the horizon

Has it really been over a month since I last posted? Oh my goodness! The sun started coming out occasionally and I think we've been spending more time outside, which means nap times are becoming my only time to catch up on laundry and cleaning. Plus, we have been super busy planning the next big chapter in our lives: a move back to California.

We have finally made the decision to move back to our home state. After 9 long years in Seattle we have come to know the Pacific Northwest as home and I am desperately clinging to every last moment and friendship that I have here. I flew down to Tahoe to interview for a job, which in turn I quickly got and we had to make the decision to stay or go.  Going means leaving on July 9th, which is less than three weeks away.  We made the ultimate decision about 2 weeks ago and then I think we just sat in shock for a few days. The next week I mulled and mulled about telling our friends here that we were actually going to move. These conversations have all been difficult, heartbreaking, and I think every time I tell someone I feel guilty and want to take-back my decision. I want to stay. I want to go. Maybe we should stay. Maybe we should go. That's it. We're going. *sigh* We've informed the landlord, who is showing our apartment, so I've had to keep it super clean and we have had to leave for a few hours at a time while he shows it. This is inconvenient but necessary in order to leave on good terms with him and hopefully get some of our deposit back. We've reserved the rental truck, booked one-way flights for me and the girls (much to my disappointment of not getting to drive, I really want to drive!), put "for sale" signs on the truck (also much to my disappointment, but necessary), and we have our fingers crossed that Dave has almost secured a job at Northstar.  We still have not found a place to live. We still do not have enough money to make the move and pay for deposits and rent.....BUT, we are figuring out the last bits and I'm sure that we'll make it by the skin of our teeth. As always.

I am so happy for you girls that you will get to see your Grammie and Grandpa, and Uncle Ben & Kori. It will be the most exciting place for you to grow up, I promise. Seattle would also be a very exciting place to grow up, but we're hoping that Tahoe will be safer, smaller and will provide you with everything you need. Someday when you are in your 20's you will understand how special it is that you got to grow up in the Tahoe basin. You may even understand much sooner than that, as I know me and my friends all did....but ya never know, you could hate us for making you grow up outside of a city in a small town. 

A lot has happened with you two over the past month. Zoie, you are a teething maniac and are cutting all four top teeth right now...all at the same time. You have been miserable for weeks, and despite that we can see them poking out of your gums they are still bothering you quite a bit. You also started to crawl yesterday! About 7 days ago you figured out how to rock onto your hands and knees from a sitting position, and you wobbled for the past week, but all of the sudden yesterday you picked up one shaky arm and one shaky leg and moved them in sequence! It's like watching a baby animal learn to walk for the first time, or a caveman or something...all wobbly and shaky, but moving like a little snail you push forward. It's so dang cute, and hilarious! I will try to catch more of it on video tonight. You are still refusing a bottle, which is going to be really tough in a few weeks when I have to go back to work! You get so mad when you see the bottle, it makes you cry just looking at it. You are so stubborn it's amazing you aren't a little Taurus yourself.  You are such a funny girl though - you love to laugh at your sister and you love to have scarfs and things put over your head for a game of peek-a-boo. When I flew down to Tahoe for the job interview you had a great little trip and absolutely loved Auntie Kori and her giant white dog Blanca Blu. Your sister HATES dogs, but you think they are pretty funny and are always excited to grab a handful of fur.

Harper you are becoming such a polite little girl. You say "Tank you mama" almost every time I get something for you or give you food or drink. You are just starting to say "TuseZoie....we'll see how long this transition takes. Such a happy thought to imagine the two of you sleeping in a room together peacefully -  through the whole night. Another *sigh*. This move will be the perfect time to make a few changes in our lives, many big many small, and for you, this will mean a lot of BIG things. Going back to school and making new friends! Having time with grammie and grampa whenever you want it, and being able to play outside in the woods of Tahoe! Such an exciting time ahead for you my little peanut, I can't wait for you to learn how wonderful it all will be.

Well - "Where are you mama?" is being called from your bedroom, so I have to sign off for now. I'll try not to make it so long in between posts this time.

Smile girls, your mama loves you :)